The Tortoise and the Hare, Circa 2007.

There once was a speedy hare who bragged about how fast he could run. Tired of hearing him boast, Slow and Steady, the tortoise, challenged him to a race. All the animals in the forest gathered to watch.
Hare ran down the road for a while and then paused to rest. He looked back at Slow and Steady and cried out, "How do you expect to win this race when you are walking along at your slow, slow pace?"
Hare stretched himself out alongside the road and fell asleep, thinking, "There is plenty of time to relax." Then his cell phone rang.
It was his sponsor. “Get off your ass, Hare.” Said he, “Surely you are aware that they are making hares faster then we can sponsor them. And, by the way, I think I saw a cheetah in my boss’s office just last week.”
Hare ran back out to the track, nearly running tortoise down as he passed him in a blur.
Slow and Steady walked and walked. He never, ever stopped until…he got an instant message from his sponsor…
“DPLY CONCERNED HERE.” It said. “YR LK OF PRGRSS VIOLATES YR CNTRCT. RUN R WE SUE.”
Tortoise continued in his steady pace, secure in the knowledge that his strategy would work in the end. He hadn’t traveled twenty feet before he was served with his papers by a clever chameleon, who just a moment ago had been a very credible rock.
“Slow and steady wins the race.” Tortoise protested, speaking slowly and steadily.
“I’m sorry,” Pronounced the race organizer, a woodpecker with a determined beak. “Only sponsored animals are permitted on the course.”
Tortoise, though he descended from a long line of successful racers, was forced to find work in the restaurant business. After a painful adjustment, he did finally achieve a modicum of success, as a soup.
Hare crossed the finish line with his cell phone ringing.
“I’m sorry to say this,” said his sponsor, as if he was not sorry to say it at all. “Cheetah is in, you are out.”
“But I won!” Protested Hare.
“Yes,” said his sponsor. “But you are not married to my boss’s sister.
After that, Hare always reminded himself, "Don't brag about your lightning pace, for Well Connected won the race!"